Tuesday, September 15, 2009

For which I would shower twice in one day.

Yesterday I went to the bathroom. Sparing no details, I assure you it was number one. Simple and easy for the toilet to digest.

Or so I thought.

I flushed. Instead of the contents being pulled away into the septic oblivion, the water level in my toilet rose. I watched with growing anxiety as the murky water inched up the porcelain bowl. Oh no. We all know what that means. Time to pull out the plunger. Now, on a side note, I hate plunging . . . I abhor it. I'm not even ashamed to admit that on occasion I've left the plugged toilet for Mark to take care of, while I acted innocent to the cause. So, needless to say, seeing the speed at which the water was rising, I felt it necessary to do the deed. Plunge.

I plunged. Nothing happened. The water level stayed the same. So I plunged again and again and again. Finally after the fifth plunging I decided, whatever, this one wants to wait for Mark. I left the plunger in the toilet and walked away.

I showered. Forgetting all about the toilet woes, I cleaned off my morning aerobic's sweat. Afterwards I fed Teddy, hung out for awhile and talked about the lego ship he made, and watched a little Scooby Do. About halfway through the show my eye lids started to droop. Oh, I thought. Perfect time to take a 20 minute nap. Letting Teddy finish his show alone, I crept into my bedroom to sleep.

I laid down. A trickling sound echoed out from the bathroom. I sat bolt upright. What the?!? I hurried into the bathroom, skidding to a stop. That darn-devil-toilet was leaking who knows what all over my bathroom floor. Clearly at this point, I couldn't wait for Mark to come home and plunge. NO, it was up to me.

I plunged. I plunged so hard that I figured the toilet would suck down all the pee-water and what was now coating my floor. Boy was I wrong.

The toilet exploded! It geysered. It erupted like Mt. St. Helens. An unrelenting torrent of pee water shot out of the toilet at me coating my clean body.

I freaked.

I screamed.

I called Mark.

oh, and then I had the notion to pull out towels before filthy stinkin' pee water destroyed my upstairs and downstairs.

Needless to say, Mark came home, saved the day, de-clogged the toilet, and even did the wash. Way to go babe! You rock my Pee soaked world.


Kayleen said...

I'm laughing so hard I can't even type. Oh Erin! I'm so sorry about that devil toilet of yours!! ha ha ha

Brooke said...

That sucks, and it's disgusting. Thanks for the visual. :P


The Gubler Family Blog! said...

That has ALWAYS been my worst nightmare. I HATE it when the toilet clogs, and like you I just wait for marty to come fix it. But I am always afraid of it geysering out like that and now that i know it can actually do that, I am even more afraid. haha. It was a great laugh though.

Weight Family said...

Pee Stinks!

tina said...

No matter how good or how bad (stressful) things have been lately, I have only been able to say "awesome". It's the word of the week.


JoMamma said...

I too hate plunging. Yuck Yuck Yuck! Mark you rock.

Marcie said...

You go, Mark!

tammy said...

Come to my house and I'll teach you how to shut off the toilet water. Then you can just go ahead and leave it for Mark to take care of. ;)

Julianne said...

Erin! I laughed so hard! That sounds like something I would do. I hate plunging too.

renae said...

tammy MIGHT be a genius. i'll have to remember that for next time i have a dangerously threatening darn-devil-toilet!

erin, you are the bees knees. i totally LOL'd.

Shari said...

Just so you know, I read your blog while eating lunch. Tomato sandwiches will never taste the same.

Cruise to the Max said...

This was truly one of the most disgusting experiences of my life. This will be fun story to tell my boys one day when they have their own homes. When I got home there were NASTY wet towels all over the floor and the toilet wouldn't plunge for me either so I wound up doing the following:
1. Emptied all the water from the toilet with a shop vac
2. Pulled the toilet and took it outside
3. Unclogged the clog by hand with a screwdriver and a plumbers snake (honestly the most disgusting thing I have ever done in my life including the time I cleaned up after Erin threw up all over our kitchen including the kitchen ceiling(this was my fault since I had told her to take milk of magnesia when she was prego with George and about a week before the actual delivery and very anxious)
4. Hose down and cleanser the whole toilet top to bottom outside
5. Reinstalled the toilet
6. Put all the towels in the wash
7. Cleaned the bathroom with straight Pine-sol and my hands and arms
Why would anyone ever want to be a plumber is a mystery to me. If I was a tradesman I would definitely be an electrician for sure. Electricians don't have to smell problems, only feel them. A definite advantage in my opinion.

Kahilau said...

Oh my.... I a geyser??? That is nasty as I am sure you well remember. Bless your heart! Not fun, but SUPER funny to read. Thanks for sharing!

Carterista said...

Mark...once again...YOU ROCK!!! I would have called a plumber and then been upset about all the $ it cost me. Now I know I can call you. haha!
Erin, no one can tell a potty story like you can. You have some kind of special talent, girl.

missionary mama said...

that is gross and hilarious at the same time. you just have the coolest stories to tell! =)

Leslie said...

yucky - just plain yucky!

Melissa said...

Three cheers for the turd herder!

Unknown said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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