Wednesday, September 28, 2011

secret 8 of 100

I'm afraid of Goldfish.

Not the snack you find on aisle 10 at Walmart.  I'm talking about the squishy, slimy, living fish that swim around in the mucky tanks at Walmart...or any other pet store.

Honestly, I have an irrational fear of finding a belly up goldfish. The fear is so great and gripping that I avoid the pet corner of the Walmart at all costs. If you own goldfish, I probably avoid your house like the plague.
Maybe once a year I'll find myself in the general vicinity of the goldfish tanks at Walmart. My throat closes, my stomach churns, my eyes water, and my gag reflex kicks into gear. I can't even walk down the very aisle because of the paralysis that will seize my limbs. Sweat beads will form on my brown, and my breathing will grow shallow.

Ugh. They're horrid little creatures that should be banned, I say. Banned!

You see, on my fifteenth birthday, my mom and sisters gave me five goldfish. Margo, Margo, Margo, Margo and Margo. Great name, right?
I loved them and cherished my Margos and fed them ALL the time. Then, come spring, I had to go away on a short trip. Before I left for those couple days I was distraught with worry that my fishy friends would starve. So being a loving pet-caretaker, I dumped a plethora of fish food in their bowl so they could have a final feast before I left.

When I returned all five Margos were dead. White bloated bellies to the sky, in a swamp of brackish water.
(I just threw up in my mouth. I don't even know if I can finish this post).

Anyway. My mom made ME flush each fish down the drain. Sympathetic much? I think not. After watching them go, and then cleaning up the mucky dead-fish tank, I swear the stank of dead Margo-fish clung to me like a special-Erin aroma for days. I couldn't get it out of my nostrils.

So you see why I can't stand fish. That is my secret. Goldfish make me vomit.


Stacy Henrie said...

Some elders on my mission put some goldfish in our toliet. My companion and I tried saving them by dumping them into the river. But the current was really strong, so I'm not sure how many survived. But hey, at least we tried. :)

Iain said...

I hate to tell you this, but they probably weren't dead.
They over eat, and their bellies bloat and they float to the surface. After a few days, the bloating goes down and they can swim around again.
Now you probably have guilt as well as dislike of them. :o|

Charlie N. Holmberg said...

Ha ha, how sad... and unusual. ;)

i'm erin. said...

Iain, you just killed me. Seriously!

A. said...

I can totally relate! It's only since having kids that i can go enjoy the fish in teh tanks at pet stores and Walmart. i refuse to have it at my home though. I had a goldfish as a kid and came home one day to it in the middle of my floor! The horror of this slimey things, that I loved yet wouldn't touch, sittng int he middle of MY room kept me from ever wanting more. No way was I going to try and put it back in water. *cough* *gag* Slimey, icky things.

Karly said...

Fish freak me out. When I worked at a movie theater, we did secret Santa. My coworker got me a real, live goldfish because she thought I loved goldfish. (I like the crackers.) I had to clean its bowl and my dad came in and stopped me because the water was so hot it was frying the goldfish (and it smelled bad). I think after that my parents gave it away. I really can't remember. And our shared hatred of goldfish is why we are friends. :)

Peggy Eddleman said...

I've never really been sure why, but I've always wanted to give you a fish as a gift, Erin. Or, you know... leave one in a bowl on your kitchen island. You don't lock your doors, right?

Iain said...

Sadly, it's true.
A well known fact (by those who know it well.)

The Horn Family said...

You know, it's funny how life is. Just a week prior to your goldfish blog, I wrote a blog about goldfish as well! Only in mine, my youngest son, smushed them. You and he might get along. said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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