Friday, December 05, 2008

to BEFRIEND or not to BEFRIEND...that is the question

After having launched myself into the world of facebook I found myself giddy with all the reconnections I have made. People I haven't talked to since high school have been coming out of the wood works to become my 'friend'. All of a sudden I feel so warm, fuzzy, and welcomed in the cyber world; however, I am left with quite the quandary.

Ask the Audience:
What do you do when someone you don't know (or simply cant recall where you know them from) wants to add you as a friend?

I have mulled this over in my mind and have come to a crossroads. I can either befriend the unknown cyber person who is seeking my friendship and feel utterly flattered. Perhaps this person is in need of my friendship because he/she saw my info page and felt a connection to my flamboyant personality that must have oozed out of the brief 4 lines of vague personal info I allowed to be viewed online. I feel so elated, so thrown back into high school when I was the nerdy girl and a cute boy would wave in my direction...and really who cares if he was waving at the hot popular girl behind me.
I am led to wonder if this unknown cyber person is merely seeking to add me as a friend because he/she collects 'friends' like one gathers clutter. Am I simply to be added to their list of friends and then cast off and never spoken to (wall to wall) again?
What is really going on here (confused 13 year old girl stuck in Erin's 29 year old body)...


Just SO said...

You were never the nerdy girl. Ever.

I don't know. I had a request from someone the other day whose name I vaguely recognized. I got out the high school year book and looked her up there.

If you feel comfy enough just message this person back by asking if they know you and how because the name and/or face isn't ringing a bell. That's probably what I would do. And you can blame it on your post preggo brain. I would totally do that.

Maman Pélissié said...

It's all about the friends. I say let them get their clutter elsewhere. I mean seriously, do you want to be clutter?

Leslie said...

that part of facebook really does feel a little too high schoolish to me so I only add friends that were actually or are right now REAL friends.

The other day I had someone send me a friend request and I had no idea who it was. I saw that we had 3 friends in common (which turned out to be you, Rachel, & I think Anela), so I emailed back and asked how we knew each other. I explained that my memory isn't the best (which is all too true). It turns out I met her the very first day I flew into Hawaii April 2007 to see you and Rachel - and that's the only time we met. (Gosh, I hope she's not reading this and if you are, I have nothing against you - I just don't really know you in real life is all). Anyway, I kind of felt funny adding her so I didn't. It's not that I don't want to meet new people or be friendly - but I don't feel comfortable having people I don't know reading all my business, etc.

Robyn said...

If you don't know them, I wouldn't add them. It's not a contest as to who has the most friends. To be honest, I don't like it when someone has a list of "friends" that is page after page after page of people who they really don't know. Anyway, there is my two cents!

Ticklemedana said...

don't add anyone you don't's not myspace but I list personal information on there and I don't add anyone I have not met in real life...

Kayleen said...

I had the same dilemma you did. I agree with the others on this although I don't spend a lot of time on facebook or put personal info on there. It totally feels like high school so I'm rollin' with it. It's not bad to connect even with people you didn't hang out with. People change and there's always something to share or learn from others. But ya, I passed up the single guys from HS that tried to add me as their friend. Kinda weird!
Good luck!

Bobbi said...

I am so bad with names. Often, I can't remember someone's name, but then once I see a photo or two I'm like, "oh yeah!" So, on a few occasions, I've added "friends" just to see if I recognized them. Then, if I really had no clue who they were, I just deleted them off my friends list. (I know. Deleting friends sounds so harsh. But what else can you do?)

Bobbi said...

Another potential advantage to adding friends that you might not remember well, is sometimes they have "friends" on their lists that you do remember and can reconnect with. Then, once you've ravaged their "friends" lists, you can go ahead and delete them off yours. That's right. Use and abuse 'em. Man, Facebook makes me sound like such a horrible person!!! I'm surprised anyone wants to be my "friend"!

tammy said... could add them to see who they are and then delete them like Bobbi said. They don't get a notification that they have been deleted so they wont know unless they go looking. Or you could just be really picky like me! People with an overabundance of "friends" are gauche......

A. said...

I don't add people unless I know them OR if I don't know them and they send a little note with the invitation reminding me who they are. Especially if you have your blog linked in because it could be someone trying to get peoples personal info.

My 2c

Ipo said...

I know absolutely ALL of my 1,000,000 friends on facebook! Ha,ha,ha! I don't add friends unless I really do know who they are. That being said, I don't keep in contact with all of them. I don't have the time. And of course only a handful of my friends read my blog, as I don't tell many people about it. So it really is whatever you are comfortable doing.

Kristine said...

I say no, because when I am posting stuff, I like to know exactly who is seeing it, and that they know me.

Unknown said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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