Five Random Truth's that I've been thinking on lately.
1. The other day when someone said to me, "You look good for having 4 kids!" I thought, Does that mean If I didn't have any kids my sad body would have no excuse for it's jiggly-ness? Maybe they weren't really giving a compliment but more like a subliminal message. Like perhaps they're saying, "Frankly, your muffin top is large, but since you have four kids I can excuse all that and lump you into the 'motherly' category. Hey, and while you look that way, why not run out and buy some mom jeans. You'd definitely look superb in those."
2. I stopped drinking Diet Pepsi. To wean off of it I took up drinking Diet Mt. Dew (it's fabulous). I realized after I downed a case in three days that drinking Diet Mt. Dew instead of Diet Pepsi wasn't such a great plan. For now I'm back to drinking Diet Pepsi until I can devise a better plan.
3. Sometimes when I take pictures of people, I'm tempted to photoshop my own head into the shot. Like that could be my new watermark...my face behind the rest! (If you're waiting to pick up your pictures from me, double check all your shots. Muah ha ha ha...)
4. Dating. I don't do it, but I would like to think of myself as somewhat of an expert. I mean, I did stalk my own sweet hubby. I have spent quite some time talking with single friends and offering them advice. And, I take pictures of single people. Considering all that--Definite Dating Expert.
Rule #1 of Dating - Girls, date nice, younger, attractive guys. If he's too old - he's TOO old. (No, this rule is not directed at anyone in particular.)
Rule #2 of Dating - If you like him, follow him around. Show up where he is, and smile a lot.
Rule #3 of Dating - This is an oldie but a goody, Only date someone you could ever see yourself marrying. Remember, you marry who you date.
5. My screaming kid was destroying my Walmart shopping calm. So of course I grabbed a box of crackers, ripped it open, and let him have at it. After three other shopping mom's threw me pointed looks I wanted to narrow my eyes on them, pull the crackers away from my kid, and plunk him down in their shopping cart. See, deal with that. That's what I wanted to do...but I didn't. I just scurried away, and popped a cracker in my own mouth. Urg. What would you have done?
16 SPLURTS:
I love that you replaced one caffeinated beverage with something that's probably worse.
At least you were giving him something that could be scanned in later and not feeding him a banana or grapes or something like that that needs to be weighed!! I've totally done that before. It's not like you're going to chuck the packaging. And how do they even know that you didn't have that in your diaper bag or something? Sheesh.
And um, just fyi...you have NO muffin top so I don't want to hear it.
I do the exact same thing when my children are in that cranky way...and since they are opened, I also pop a few into my own mouth. Since I am well on my way to being in a very cranky way what better solution to soothe the beast than with something salty, sugary and loaded with trans fats? I really can't think of anything.
I have to admit thought, when I am alone and shopping, I like to offer help to exasperated mothers...it's my weird twitch.
You should have just busted out some kickboxing moves on her.
Erin, I loved this post. So funny and true! And you look fantastic, and even more important, you are fit. Go you.
I like that you normally have "Walmart shopping calm." Until I read this post, I wasn't sure that was entirely possible.
First of all - hello, you look good having had four, one, or no kids. I say just take it as the compliment it is, and don't over-analyze. You're hot. Deal with it.
Second, I have done that before too - what mom hasn't in a moment of desperation?? The bad one was when Brad started crying and freaking out because he wanted to eat his apple NOW... so I let him. I just had them weight another apple when I "bought" The one he'd eaten. At least he likes his fruit and veggies!
Ah, the joys of mommy-hood and life in general.
Okay- Honesty moment. You look faboulus!!!! If you think not you need your head looked at! Who cares if mom's give you ugly looks! They are just jealous that they don't have a screaming baby! Yes, I would love to photoshop my own head into those pics too. But I have the strength not to. Besides that I don't have photoshop. And I have a secret to kickin the soda... ask me later!
I always give my kids some of the food in the store. Especially at Walmart, that seems to be the place where my kids melt down the most.
Erin
You look great for having 4 kids! You look tons better than me and I've only had 2.
I've thought about that too after being told I look good for having three kids. It's like, wait a minute- was that a compliment?
And I can't believe people were giving you mean looks. I have done that often to calm my kid(s) down in the store. What's the difference if you're about to pay for the dang food in a minute anyway?
You make me laugh! Seriously don't think you have a muffin top!
I'm with ya on #1. What kind of compliment is that? lol (although...I have found myself saying that to people before!)
As far as the screaming kid and crackers... yah, I'd do it. Although, I tend to just let them scream and let people look on, but I tend to get ALOT more glares that way, as though I'm pinching her or not buying her everything in the store she wants. Geesh.
when we're at the store I almost always grab a treat that I'm going to buy anyway & give it to my kids - it sure makes my shopping trips a little less stressful!!
oh, erin...
hahahaha, don't worry, the snack isle is our first stop in Walmart, ESPECIALLY if I have ALL THREE of my (under 5) children, and NO the packages DON'T stay closed! When I go and do that, I just don't look up. :)
I just followed your rule. I followed my hubby around, showed up where ever he was, and smiled. He asked me what was wrong...
Dear Dating Expert, I don't think your advise is working. Help!
Sleepless housewife
Post a Comment