Friday Five: because I'm a 12 year old boy.

I've been completely swamped this week,

Visitors, work, and viewing a bit' of internet cheek. 

I loved a particular post about the subject of poo. 

If you're kind of a 12 year old boy, you'll love the rest too.

1. 

Funny 

2.

From Here

3.

Or Here

4. 

5.

Favorite-est

So, basically I've wasted a lot of time this week. And you? What have you done?

Friday Five...leaving on a jet plane

I'm leaving on a jet plane, 

On Monday I'll be back again, 

The place I'm going is not a vacay top five, 

For plot settings, though, it might just jive!

 TOP Five Locations for Setting in a Book:

Hawaii's mythological history in a picturesque place,
Makes the perfect backdrop for a story well-paced.

The Sahara is a desert that's more dead than alive,
Already I spot conflict into which characters will dive.

Beth Revis wrote a book about great outer space,
Since then I've wanted to try my hand at an alien race.

But if Earth is my target, then I can't forget Africa,
A story about the wild where there is no traffic-a (I know...you're killing me smalls)

Last no matter the season, Alaska is a unique sight.
freakishly cold, but full of beauty like northern lights.

What are your favorite pics for story location?

Friday Five: motivation.

Five Things I do to Motivate Myself

Shoes

I love shoes like I love my hubby, 

Without them I might be a bit more tubby.

When I'm lacking motivation to exercise.

I get moving as soon as new shoes are my prize.

Cadbury Mini Eggs

You know those little chocolate, candy-shelled eggs.

They're the devil because they fatten my legs. 

So when I'm trying to write, but facebook lures me in,

I give myself one egg for each paragraph I fin---ish. (ok, so not the perfect rhyme. No judging.)

Music

Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, 

I have no motivation to get off my butt. 

Whether exercising, shooting, or trying to write, 

If I blast my iTunes, it gives me a boost in the night...or day. (again, no judging on the rhymes here)

Books

If it were up to me I would read all day long, 

I love books like a photographer loves a Fong. (Uh, it's a tupperware looking flash filter-random, I know.)

If I have something to do that's horrid and no fun, 

I promise myself reading time as soon as I'm done.

Now You

If you're reading my poems, you'll see this is the end, 

But I've only written four instead of five, my friend. 

That's because I want to know what you like to do

when you're lacking motivation and you feel like poo!

friday five...prepare yourself

I woke this morning with lots to do,
So I didn't have time to post for you,
But when I sent a bad text today,
Inspiration hit in a funny way.

You know how smart phones have auto correct?
A genius program until it messes up your text.
Auto correct fails can be confusing and lame,
But it's so dang hilarious when your text is insane!

Friday's Five Favorite Auto-Correct Fails:

*Just know that this last one first sickened me because I hate the "N" word. But after I read it I was laughing so hard I nearly peed myself.

 P.s. These were taken from this post:

http://mashable.com/2011/12/05/damn-you-auto-correct-funniest-text/#37143-8

friday five.

Today I'll be at the library til' night,

Nano is over and yet, I still write. 

Before I left home, there was much to organize,

So this is my list of Friday Fives.

First, I registered for LDS Storymakers.

At this conference there are no writing haters.

My friends find editors while I'm busy taking pics.

Maybe this time I'll be the one to snag an agent.

Second I stocked my bag with treats,

That's no surprise because you know my secret,

Here's a shout-out to my second favorite snack--

Hot Tamales always hit the spot when I'm writing in the stacks.

Third I called my writer friends, 

They give me ideas and support till the end.

I think the best thing you can have when you're writing a book,

Is a group of critique partners that help you with your hook. 

Fourth I found my favorite sweater,

When I write I need comfort to pound out those letters,

It brings me luck and helps me sink into my groove,

It may be threadbare, but at least there's room to move.

Last, I updated my music list,

I-tunes could exist on just my business.

A little Zooey, Frank, and Taylor are a must,

Without some tunes, my writing would be a bust!

Happy Friday Ya'll.

What are your plans today?

friday five.

There once was a writer who forgot how to laugh--

Too many hours by the computer and none in the bath.

While she edited on her own her heart felt pierced,

for she missed times with friends because she stank something fierce.

Of course, this poem isn't about me--I smell just fine, 

It's just I got to thinking, how I write all the time,

And days by my laptop mean there are five things I miss,

Just like the other lonely-girl-writer with the terrible pits.

Friday Five: Things Writers (or Hermits) Miss

When you think of old friends, does your throat form a lump?

It's probably 'cause you've gone too long without a chest bump.

Or maybe like "Putty" from Seinfeld you crave,

A high-five from something other than your cat, Dave.

Stuck in a scene can make you feel down on writing luck,

It's time to call a friend and see a movie that may or may not suck,

If that's not your thing, then a night out to dinner is what you need,  

There's no place like the Olive Garden because there you're like family.

If you're lonely, maybe stinky, and feeling at your wit's end,

What you're probably missing most is a game of Words With Friends!

My question to you is what do you miss?

If you had three extra hours a day what would be on your list?

11-11-11

In light of 11-11-11, I'll not be entertaining you with Friday's five fantastically fabulous poems.

Instead, I'm aiming to write 11,1111 words today. So in respect of 11-11-11, here's a different type of post for the day.

11 things I'm grateful for:

1. Mark. He's a wonderfully, kind and loving hubby and friend.
2. Kiddos. Mostly when they're not wrecking the house. But regardless, I love them.
3. Ma and Pa. The best parents ever. Even when I'm not the best daughter.
4. Friends. Walls that I lean on probably too much.
5. Music. I-tunes junkie. Anyone check out Kaskade's new album yet? Seriously addicted.
6. Movies. Preferably at the dollar theater in PG.
7. Books. They are my crack and the PG Library is my supplier.
8. Shoes. Imelda ain't got nothing on me.
9. Cameras. I hope to one day capture a scene so inspiring it leaves me breathless.
10. Jesus. Because he's everything.

11. You...(Yes, if you came to my blog earlier, you can see I just added this. I guess that would mean I'm grateful that I have friends that let me know of my mistakes. And I'm grateful that my brain works 10 out of 11 times).

What are you grateful for today?

friday five - distractions

I had one of those weeks that passed in a flash,

not much accomplished but I'm bent that won't last

Distractions, good and bad, snagged me everyday,

And my poor NANO goals slipped far away

First, I shot my girl because she turned three.

What an extravaganza that turned out to be.

One hour stretched into many to draw out her smile,

No NANO that day because I was shooting for awhile.

When I had a chance to sit down and write,

blasted halloween candy called with all it's might.

The devil chocolate calls, rendering me a useless hack.

It's a relentless draw until I snack, snack, snack. 

And when I'm not shoving my face full of candy,

I've twiddled hours away doing nothing dandy. 

(That's a lame-butt rhyme, lamer than lame,

But so is hours on facebook stalking random names.)

Serenity Now! I need a break from facebook.

Instead of writing, I read Colleen Hueck's latest book. 

I should've been typing but I couldn't resist,

a story of two hottie boys and girl like a princess.

It all boils down to a load of stress.

Little distractions that kept me doing so much less.

Less than I wanted, but I now vow that will end,

NANO if it kills me, 50,000 words will be my friend.

How was your first week of Nano? Good or Bad?

Are you taking part in all the insanity to be had?

If not, how was your week and what did you do?

Please tell me you ate candy, so I don't feel like a big poo.

friday five - goodbyes and one hello

This summer my husband came home from work and said, "Hey, so I know my job as a Treasury Manager is pretty freaking awesome, but I think I want to try my hand at being a dentist."
Say what?
Mark wants to return to school for the next year to take the prerequisite classes for dental school, then apply to dental school, and then after getting in . . . he wants to actually go!
Hyperventilate much? You better believe it.

After much thought and discussion and prayer, I agreed. It took a little faith because Mark and I were just about to close on a lot of land. And if Mark hadn't had his dental ephiphany we would now be living in our dream home. This post is to say goodbye to those dreams and hello to new ones.

1.  Goodbye dream house and your craftsman style charm. 

I think of you fondly and then want to do Mark harm.

I'm letting you go, for now that is,

And when Mark graduates, repayment will be his! 

Muah ha ha

2. Goodbye 50's styled basement kitchen adjoined to my writing room

Really, you were just a dream because your cost would be my doom.

But since I'm bemoaning my loss, I added you in

Maybe in the future the expense of you won't be a sin.

3. Goodbye reading settee, so cozy by my bed

When I think of you I feel sad in my head.

Where will I sit and read in style?

Not in my dream house . . . at least not for awhile.

4. Goodbye days of lounging around like a cat

Now life's super busy because my hubby's wearing the student hat

I know this poem sounds a little lame

But I love the picture all the same

5. Hello future! Whatever you may hold

I hope the out look is good before I get too old

While Mark's studying and learning at dental school

I'll be writing away like a YA writing fool!

friday five.

Today I'm dedicating this post to five people that I think are seriously awesome. Some are published, some are not, and some are really close. But whatever the stage of writing they're in, they amaze me with their mad skills. Check them out:

1. Peggy Eddleman - my girl Peggy has been with me from the beginning when we were rogue class attendees in a writing class that changed our lives. She's helped me figure out plot structure and fix bad dialogue. And on a side note, her husband makes a mean roasted red pepper soup.

2. Jessie Humphries - I like to call this girl Coonskin because her maiden name is coon. We met at a writing conference two years ago and she's been one of my best writing buddies since then. I can't imagine going to a conference without her. It would just be lamesauce. Jessie makes me laugh because she's kind of irreverent and kind of random and a lot of cool.

3. My Pile of Books -this awesome little book review site was started by a great writing friend of mine, Stacey. She and a few other "anonymous" bloggers support this blog. But sometimes those other gals are really busy and kind of lame and they feel really bad for not supporting so much. But the point is, the blog is awesome. And Stacey is awesome for starting it. Can anyone say awesome much?

4. Ally Condie - I met Ally years ago at a writing conference. I love her because she's small, she likes to run, and she writes like a friggin' genius. She makes me laugh with her dry wit. And her next book, Crossed, is soon to come out and it will be as fabulous as the first so check it out.

5. Julie Donaldson -  Alright, so here's the situation with Julie. One, she's amazing. She can do anything when it comes to writing. I met Julie at the same conference I met Ally. Julie published a little book on love awhile back and her first national title will be out sometime next year. You'll want to keep an eye out for her.

Those are my five favorite writing ladies. They inspire me. Check them out, I hope they inspire you too.

friday five.

In Utah, it seems like this is the weekend for writing conferences. Well, at least two that I know of. At UVU, prospective and pubbed writers can attend the Book Academy, or if you want to trek into the cold snowy Utah mountains, there's the Heart of the West conference held at the Canyons Resort. My writing buddies and I have been to both, but this year we're heading up to Park City for the Heart of the West conference. In fact, we got here last night and I'm freezing my toosh off. There's something seriously wrong when it snows during the first week of October. (Silent prayer to move back to Hawaii)

Today I'd like to dedicate this post to Writing Conferences. I'm not a complete conference groupie, but I go to a couple a year. And I've learned a thing or two that may help you.

Five Things To Do At A Writing Conference

1. Shower

How should I put this? Since I'm not one for putting things in a delicate manner, I'll just say it. Sometimes people stink. And sometimes a room can be filled with the stench of dirty head. (I'm not pointing any fingers at the ladies I'm attending the conference with. I'm just saying.) Fifty writers in a room can smell bad. I know I don't shower for days on end when I'm in writing mode. But conference mode is different. For the love of all books, please shower.

2. Keep your bra to yourself

Or better said, don't wear shirts that have buttons. This one really just comes from personal experience. But since I'm back at the same conference, I certainly don't want to flash any hot pink braziers to older, erotica-writing men. You can read about that HERE! 
(Side note: Don't try searching for "pink bras" on google. Big mistake. UGH.)

3. Leave the Wizarding Costume at Home

Well, if you're going to World-Con, go for it. But for any other conference, it's always best to dress your best. Wear something that plays up to your eye-color or hair style. I think setting a good first impression is sometimes more important than showing the world how much you love The Lord of the Rings. Then again, I've seen some fab costumes at conferences so I could be totally wrong about this one.

4. Put on a Happy Face

It may be a year from now when I get published, or ten years from now (heaven forbid). But since I don't know, I think it's best to always be friendly to other prospective writers. I've met some of my best friends at writing conferences. If it wasn't for Jessie Humphries smiling face and charming wit, we wouldn't be friends now. If you're open to making new friends, you can find your greatest writing supports at conferences.

5. Go with me and you'll find an agent

Call it luck, but there's something about attending a conference with me that will snag you an agent faster than you could probably finish your WIP. The last time I came to the HOW conference I attended with three other ladies. Two ended up signing with the agents from the conference. How is it possible I wasn't one of them? Well, my WIP wasn't ready. It's still not ready. The whole photography life of mine sometimes gets in the way. But I don't mind so much. I'm just glad to help another writer along even if it is by strange coincidence.

That's my five! Now keep it alive. I'd love to hear what things you've learned at writing conferences.
What conferences have you been to?
What has been your favorite conference?
What's something you've learned from going to a conference?

friday five.

I now dedicate this Friday, and every future Friday, to the number Five. 

So that on Friday you'll read my Five and you'll feel alive. (Or not . . . I'm just a big fan of rhymes.) 

Each Friday you'll find a list of different things.

A gathering of thoughts, or items I find interesting. 

(Stop groaning in agony, the poem's ending now . . . lest you call me a crazy, rhyme-loving cow)

Sometimes I wish...

1. Michael never died. 

Or changed the color of his skin. 

Or hacked up his nose. 

Or strung out his hair. 

But mostly I wish he was still alive and singing songs that Jive. 

RIP Michael. I love you.

2. Punky Brewster still rocked the tv airwaves. 

In her neon mis-matching perfection.

Honing her pig-tailed style. 

Annoying the creepy old guy she lived with (did anyone else question that one?)

And making us join in the canned laughter with her slap-stick comedy act.

3. Crystal Pepsi was back. 

Called a Cola, but looking like carbonated water.

Confusing us with the strange non-cola taste.

Looking almost pure enough to be called healthy.

Having the coolest soda name ever! 

4. Bell-ward never happened. 

I'm not talking book 1, 2, or 3.

But the fourth atrocity that makes me vomit in my mouth.

The freaky child baby with man teeth. 

The bed braking you know what. 

Gross.

5. Ice Ice Baby was still numero uno. 

When saying "word to your mother" made you cool.

You'd say "Stop" and I'd say "collaborate and listen"

And together we could bust out the running man and dance like crazy.

Ah...those were good times. Man, lets get outta here.
Word to yo' mother.