Wednesday, October 13, 2010

name dropping and clothes busting.

Where the devil have you been? Oh, wait a sec. Yeah, I mean where the heck have I been?


URWA

Say what? You don't know that that means. It stands for Utah Romance Writers of America. And last week I was the 'esteemed' photographer of honor. (Alright, so maybe I wasn't the esteemed guest...whatev! But I was the photographer.)
Authors, agents, editors and publishers came to the conference. I shot all day long, and learned a thing or two about writing. Mostly it was awesome. Especially when I got to see the amazing Karen Hoover, and Candace Salima, and Laurie Mclean, and Amy Moore-Benson, and Victoria Dahl, and Bree Despain, and Jessica Day George (who, I personally believe, should just go by JDG. It sounds supa' cool).

Whoa, breathe. That was one heck of a name drop. Am I cooler now? Am I? (Fingers crossed you'll say yes, but if you say no that's ok too because the rest of this post is for you... I am SO. NOT. COOL! Read on, and you'll see why.)

THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:

Remember a paragraph and a half back when I said "mostly" awesome? Here's the small, miniscule, nothing to worry about part of the conference that was definitely NOT awesome. At. All.

While shooting headshots of all the amazing conference attendees, I met an older gentleman who was sporting quite the manly goatee. I asked him what he wrote. (That's what non-published-aspiring-writers mostly talk about) The goatee-wearing man said, "I write erotica."

My jaw dropped to the floor. "Um, yes, well. That's nice, and lovely. And I'm sure it's very interesting." And then I put the camera in front of my face and started shooting. There was nothing coherent left to say.

That evening, at the conference dinner I wore the new blouse I purchased earlier in the day at JCREW. (So maybe I wasn't shooting the entire time of the conference.) While I was looking for my seat, the goatee-gentleman waved me over. When I reached where he was sitting, I placed my hand on his table and leaned over to talk to him.

SNAP is what I should've heard. But I didn't. Those top three devil buttons on my blouse came undone on their own without so much of a warning noise. In front of Erotica-writing goatee-gentleman, my top three buttons popped open to expose my hot pink brazier. (The white one was dirty.)

He looked at me, then looked at, um...you know. And he said, "Looks like you're coming undone."

In that moment, I wanted to DIE.

Did I? Of course not. That's why I'm writing this extremely long post on why I am so, so, so not cool. I'm just a person who as of late is not published and happens to expose fluorescent undergarments at Erotica-writing, goatee-sporting gentleman.

19 SPLURTS:

JoMamma said...

Hahaha hehehe.... That is so funny cuz it did not happen to me.

the fowlers said...

maybe things like that just happen to him all the time and that's why he writes erotica. i mean, shirts just pop open in his face and he has no other choice because it's always happening to him.
either way, i'm sure it was one of the milder things on his mind ... but it's still hilarious.

Karina B. said...

Hahahaha! Hey, I think my in-laws know Jessica George. I know she's a big writer in Utah and her last name is George, just don't remember her first name (even though I've met her before). She went to the Princeton ward, that's how my in-laws know her.

i'm erin. said...

Karina, That is so cool. IT's such a small world!

So much Love! said...

crazy! I think it's so funny...I mean not so funny. I am glad it was you who popped her buttons because first of all we know I have nothing to pop any buttons with but you have the personality to flip something like that into something awesome!

Lindsey said...

I love this. I've just decided that the more embarrassing things happen to someone, the less humiliating they become. Law of Diminishing Returns Baby. Motto of the Story, next time you're walking up a flight of stairs, trip. It won't be to bad...Just don't have a camera in hand...and have a hand free to catch your fall...
Up Side: Maybe you'll be his next heroin. You should read his book to see if she is sporty a pinky bra.

Leslie said...

Were you secretly trying to be his muse? ha ha! I'll send you some duct tape for your birthday.

Tiffinie Helmer said...

I wouldn't be surprised to see that in one of his scenes. Way to provide material! Loved meeting you, Erin.

The Dixon Family said...

That is too funny! Little incidents such as these affirm that God's humor is alive and well. On a side note, I hope you took the shirt back.

Asenath said...

hahaha! 10 bucks says that ends up in his next book. :)

Robyn said...

What is it with you and bra incidents? "Hey, Erin, I think your bra is undone" ...said the creepy old guy.

Good times, Erin, good times! Seriously, thank you for sharing all this--I love reading your posts, they always make me laugh.

Stacey said...

Oh if I read Erotica I would read his next book and see if he put that scenario in. Ha ha. Erin i love you to death!

Marcie said...

How embarrassing! Thank you for making me laugh when I needed to after a stinkin' hard week as a mom! I am potty training my 2 1/2 year-old who is also having binky withdrawls!!!

Kayleen said...

This made my day! Ha! So funny!!! Love your writing style too :)

partypatt said...

Hey Erin, this is Jesse's mom. We know Jessica Day George really well, and her husband. They lived in Princeton for awhile. Jesse knows them too. I think Karina does, too. Small world!

partypatt said...

Ha ha, I just noticed Karina's comment.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Utah Romance Writers, huh? I ought to check them out.

J. A. Bennett said...

lol! I hope he puts that in one of his books :)

Aldea Aundy said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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