Monday, March 19, 2012

Secret 25 of 100

There's something about nice, simple fractions that makes me want to celebrate today! A quarter of my life's secrets are now exposed for all the Internet to see. Ur . . . that doesn't sound as exciting as I first imagined it would. But I'm not a quitter. 


So here goes SECRET number TWENTY FIVE. 

One summer, a cute golden-hared boy asked me out on a group date. Thrilled, I spent hours trying on every combination of shorts and summer tops that I owned. By the time Golden-boy came to pick me up, my room looked like it was the epicenter for a 8.1 earthquake, and I still wasn't totally ready. 

Ugh. I didn't want to leave Golden waiting. So I rushed out the door.

We went out to dinner (with our group), and then a movie (with our group). But while the other couples were fun, I really just wanted to hang out with Golden--without our group. 
After the movie, someone suggested a bonfire nearby. So Golden and I piled into ONE car with our entire group. At first I was bugged. But then, I realized being squashed up next to Golden with our limbs tangled in a tight space wasn't all that bad. Nope, I didn't mind the group thing at all by then.

We arrived at the destination, and slowly people started exiting the car, until Golden and I were the only two left. 
He leaned in close, the warmth of his breath brushing my cheek. "Erin," he said.
"Yes?" My heart fluttered to a frenzy. If I turned just an inch, his lips would be close enough to kiss.
"Um, I think my leg is velcro-ed to yours."
I pulled back, blinked a couple times. "What?"
He ran his hand over my exposed shin. So un-romantic. "Don't you shave? I swear my leg hairs were sticking to yours. They're like the straight end of the velcro . . . "
At this point I tuned him out as he explained his ridiculous velcro theory in which my straight leg hairs and his curly leg hairs might dangerously stick together. 
Seriously? I sat there, lost for words, and utterly mortified.
In my pre-date prep-frenzy, I had forgotten to shave. And I'm not talking days. I'm talking, I just got home from a week long camp. 

And Golden didn't waste a moment. He was out of that car and sharing his findings with our entire group before I could say, "holy hairy legs."

Needless to say, I didn't go out with Golden again. 

Do you have any shaving secrets you want to share?

29 SPLURTS:

Robyn said...

Dang, I'm really wondering who this boy is/was!

Aubrey said...

OKay he's just rude. That was not your fault or problem at all. And then to announce it to the group. Lame sauce!

Cristina said...

oh no! I would've been mortified, LOL.

honestly, I don't shave my legs all that often in the winter. It's just too much work!!! LOL

Peggy Eddleman said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Gasp for air Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Me love this.

My secret: I never go a day without shaving. Seriously. Check out my pits.

prerna pickett said...

boys can be so stupid.

Jessie Humphries said...

Hahahahahahaaha! Throw up. Hahahahahahaha! Nothing like one of ur grody leg hair stories to wake me up in the morning! But I'm with pegs, not 1 day goes by without terminating the stubble. But u don't have to check my pits to find out :).

Jenny S. Morris said...

Oh MAN, that's brutal. I did have boys point and laugh at my long hair on my legs in 7th grade. My mom wouldn't let me shave.

Leigh Covington said...

How can I share when I'm laughing so HARD! Oh my gosh girl - you honestly have the best stories EVER!

I hate shaving. I really do. And its worse in the winter. Luckily I wear pants then. I can't think of any horrible stories at the moment, but I'm sure I've blocked a few out. :)

Jaime said...

Okay, Peggy and Jessie. I don't know what to think now. You two are so much more high maintenance than I would have thought. This may just damage our friendship.

J. A. Bennett said...

Oh sad! At least you found a better guy who doesn't mind your hairy legs, right? ;)

cherie said...

Oh my holy hairy goodness!

Guess Golden boy wasn't so golden after all. A true gentleman would never embarrass a lady. Good riddance, I say!

You are so full of fun stories! Thanks for sharing and making Monday a tad better. (Plus, I need to go and shave my legs now. Not that hubby minds or anything. He's a true gentleman. ;D )

Emily R. King said...

Golden, ha! This was priceless. Man, the horrors of dating. Glad I'm over that awful time. Eek.

L.G.Smith said...

He's lucky to be referred to as Golden Boy in this confession. I might have been less kind. :)

And, um, I probably have velcro legs right now. Another thing to add to my list of things to do...

WilyBCool said...

Uh.... I shave once a week whether I need it or not. Not my legs, my face. ;D

And, So what, he didn't deserve you if he was that shallow.

JoMamma said...

If you dare wear short shorts Nair for short shorts. :)

Ruth Josse said...

Awful! Stupid boys. Once during home-ec, this guy who was way hot and way out of my league, asked to feel mine and another girl's legs to see who's was the smoothest. I totally lost. My legs get stubbly pretty quick I guess. I won't even talk about the time I went swimming with a group of friends and forgot to shave an important area.

Camcorder said...

Bahahaha!

Personally I'd have brought it up if it actually did act like Velcro. But not to the whole group.

But one time I got turned down by my ex gf to cuddle because I hadn't shaved. in front of all my friends too. Apparently I was too prickly and she was afraid of whisker burn (which I promptly gave her anyway out of principle)

Amanda Olivieri said...

NO!! bahahaha I'm dying. I can't believe he said that! Velcro? Really? LOL wow.

Tara Tyler said...

ack! of course that happens! you're trying so hard and you forget one thing and thats what is remembered!

here's a deal breaker: mixed group of friends, incl me & soon to be ex (stbx), lounging around after day of water skiing at lake house. my feet are propped and my stbx has to pick on my toes! lets all laugh at my girl's ugly toes. wah!

James Duckett said...

This. Is. AWESOME!!

Alleged Author said...

How mortifying! What a crap guy.

Chantele Sedgwick said...

Oh my gosh! What a jerk! I would have died! :( I shave every day. Unless I'm pregnant. Then I'll only shave if I can reach my legs. :)

Angela Cothran said...

This is so funny!!! The thing I love the most is that you forgot :) How is that possible? Hehehehehehe!

Charlie Holmberg said...

HA HA how horrible! And how rude for him to even say anything!

I think once I forgot to shave my underarms... I know I've done it, but I seemed to have blocked out the memory.

I actually don't shave very often (nor do I wear shorts very often, the two go hand-in-hand.) Now you know. Fortunately, you usually can't tell unless you're close or the sun is shining at a certain angle. Go me.

I remember once for Young Women's, though, I had to shave SUPER fast because we were having an impromptu swimming party. So I dry shaved and went swimming. Bad idea. Razor burn from ankle to hip. It hurt like a mother, and didn't look pretty either (and on pale legs like mine, those red bumps were much more notable than hair!)

Sarah Pearson said...

On the bright side, at least you discovered what a heel he was on the first date!

Melissa Sugar said...

Oh no, that has to be the worst feeling in the world. And it was all going so well up to the Velcro misfortune. My husband once asked me why I thought it was okay to stop shaving my legs once we were married. I told him I didn't stop because we got married, I stopped because it was winter. He was just being a jerk, it had only been a few or four or five days (gross).

I tagged you on my blog for the Lucky 7 meme.

Angela Brown said...

He so went from Golden Boy to Lame Boy. Didn't take long for the Lameness to dribble out of his mouth.

Sheesh! lol!!

Alexis Bass Writes said...

This is so funny! I laughed out loud. I think we've ALL been there - that place where we forgot to shave our legs and someone noticed before we do. *sigh* All part of being a girl, right? haha

Keisha Azzalea said...


Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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