Sunday, July 31, 2011

Tutu.

Tonight my Grandma (the only Grandmother I've ever known) passed away. My boys lovingly referred to her as Tutu and tomorrow when they wake up, I'll share with them the somewhat unexpected news. But now that it's so early in the morning and I'm still awake, I can't help but feel a deep ache of loss, regret, and sadness over her passing. I usually keep this blog light hearted, but right now my heart feels full and somewhat broken. I know her passing is for the best and she's finally reunited with the love of her life. But still, I can't help but miss this wonderful woman that I named my one and only daughter after.


Dear Grandma,

Two years ago I took you to see one of your most beloved friends, Auntie Abby.
After a wonderful chocolate pie and turkey lunch, I drove the old saddle road to get back to Kona. I never counted on the cops being around, or them clocking me at 87 in a 45. I wondered what you would say when the cop approached the window and I rolled it down. You just looked at me and let out a slight chuckle. "See I told you to slow down," you said without a trace of anger. "But you go and catch the crook."
I laughed at your reference to my speed, tried to talk myself out of that ticket, and failed. The rest of the evening we told our ticket story over and over again to everyone at Uncle Aley's home. I thought the ticket was unjust, but your comment was so funny. Since you never learned to drive, Grandpa drove you every where. I have handfuls of memories of you telling Grandpa, "Eh Daddy, catch the crook." I'm just so happy I finally have my own crook story to share.

Since Grandpa died, you haven't been the same. And I'm sure now you are so happy to be with him once again. And I want you to know even though I broke down at the Walmart tonight when I heard that you passed away, I'm happy for you too.

My one regret is that I didn't listen to the small voice that spoke to me over the last few days, telling me to call. For that I'll be sorry until the day we meet again. You have been a force in my life. I love you always. Erin

21 SPLURTS:

Rach said...

So sad. I'm happy that she is with Grandpa again. My favorite memory was on my Honeymoon we shopped with mom and dad and grandma and she snuck away in the store to buy m&m's and eat them. She had her own sass! I'm excited to see you and dad soon though.

Shelby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tammy said...

Oh, Erin! I'm so sorry! I'm sad we didn't get to meet her when we had the chance--anyone who was a force in your life must have been an amazing person! **love from our house to you**

Just SO said...

It is so very hard to say goodbye to those we love so dearly. Even with the knowledge that we will see them again. (((hugs)))

A. said...

Erin - I'm so very sorry for your family's loss. All these wonderful stories you share about her keep her alive in your hearts and mind.

Praying for your comfort today.

Nikki said...

me too. I missed my day because she was in the hospital-- and I kept intending to call since. :( I like your crook story. Grandma is so funny.

Jessie Humphries said...

Sorry erin...sucky suck suck.

Carterista said...

This post is so incredibly sweet. Gave me goosebumps. You'll have to explain to me later what "catch the crook" means exactly. :)

Peggy Eddleman said...

Aw, Erin. I'm sorry. I absolutely love the way you told about her! She sounds like an amazing, funny, tolerant, loving grandma.

Ella said...

Erin, I'm sorry for your loss! Losing a Grandma is very hard :( She sounded like an amazing Grandma. I love funny grandmas.

Annette said...

Such a beautiful tribute. So sorry. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

Emerson Experiment said...

Sad for your loss Erin...but happy she's reunited with her hubby. How sweet it is to know they're together right now :)

Taffy said...

Oh, Erin! Thank you for sharing your Grandma with us in such a loving way! Your in my prayers and thoughts today.

Don said...

Always such a bittersweet moment when we lose someone like that, knowing they are reunited with loved ones but now separated from us. My thoughts are with you.

Our Sweet Life said...

Erin I am so sorry for your loss. The way you expressed your feelings in this post is such a beautiful tribute to your grandma! She must have been an incredible woman!
xoxo

Sara B. Larson said...

I'm so sorry Erin. Even with the knowledge we have, it's so hard to lose our loved ones. She sounds like a wonderful woman. Thinking of you...

haley said...

This was such a sweet post. I remember- when I used to practically spend every day at your house- when you would get letters in the mail from your Grandma. Your name and address on the envelope was always written in large, shaky cursive writing. I always thought it was so sweet that she would take the time to send you handwritten letters.

Kahilau said...

so sorry to hear of your loss. My biggest fear with death is not having the time to say the most important things. I am sure your Tutu knew you loved her. Lessons learned. Our prayers are with your family.

Robyn said...

I just got internet again, so I just saw this. Sorry to hear about your grandma, it's so hard to say goodbye. Thinking of you...love ya!

mel said...

Your "Tutu" has always been Aunty Florence to me. My Dad's sister. It was sad to hear of her passing but nice and interesting to meet you. And now I see you are all over the web.

mel

Keisha Azzalea said...



Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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