Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mom

When I was 16 I swore that I would never be like my mother. What "good" mother would require her daugther to be home at 11:30 on a Friday night or make her daughter cover her bare shoulders? What "good" mother would make her daughter do chores before leaving the house or pay for her own outings with friends? In my eyes, my mother was absolutely ridiculous with her harsh rules and expectations...

On this mothers day I want to give my mom a piece of my mind...to say THANK YOU. Thank you for teaching me the basics of cooking so I can now prepare healthy well balanced meals for my own family. Thank you for teaching me the value of house work so I now I know how to keep my own home in ship shape condition. Thank you for reminding me to date appropriately and dress modestly so I was prepared to marry a righteous man. Thank you for making me pay for clothing, college and life, so I now know how to balance my own budget and provide for the necessities that my family needs. I love you mom, and I think you for giving me "Peace" of mind to know I can be successful being a mother to my own family.

In addition, here are 10 great tips my mother taught me:

1. If you don't brush your teeth, your breath will smell like chicken poop. (Generally this will most likely occur right in the middle of sacrement meeting, and you will need to be reminded loudly by your mother)

2. If you feed your dog turkey during Thanksgiving dinner, you dog will get the most horrid, unbearable turkey farts!

3. If you want something really bad, just spit in one hand and want in the other and then you just have to see what you will get more of.

4. For life's everyday illnesses, the magic pills are....m&ms!

5. For every other illness you can just find the cure and 100 other articles on WebMD.

6. Bright pink and bright orange do not match unless you are filipino.

7. What could be better than Harry Potter...oh yeah, Harry Potter on tape.

8. Sometimes Po-doggies are treated better than the humans in the calabio house.

9. If you ever leave the door open you are clearly born in a barn.

10. If you ever leave the door open, the worshipped po-doggie will escape and can only be lured back in by her loving master...MOM!

I love you mom!

4 SPLURTS:

A. said...

Hahaha!! #3 has made it's way down my family too. Hmm..our mother's must have heard it from their mom, therefore, share in the same wisdom droplets.

jase said...

i giggle and giggle we love mom for the same reasons
rach

Nikki said...

I have since passed on the chicken poop reference to my children. Ethan knows that if he has chicken poop breath he needs to talk to me with one hand in front of his mouth. :)

Leslie said...

A certain 8 year old boy related to me often has that type of breath right in the middle of church. I have only refrained from mentioning it's likeness to chicken poop because I knew it would cause me to bust up laughing and not be able to stop. But the thought passes through my mind ALL the time!