You are dead to me, and other church lessons.

1. Today I walked into church a little bit late. (Such a suprise, right?) When I surveyed the room to locate my Mom and sis-visiting-from-Hawaii, there was no empty seat beside them! No seat. For real. WTH? So I walked to the side and sat beside my good friend Shanna from JUST SO. Who, by the way, was wearing a particularly lovely dress that brought out the blue of her eyes. (Fashion tip: wear colors that enhance your features. Just like Shanna. Beautiful, really.)
Anyway, she leaned over and in a low voice noted that there was no space beside my Mom and sis. I must've made a face because she said I looked like the next time I talked with my mom and sis, I was going to say something like, "You are dead to me."
I totally busted out a snort right there in church.
Then using Shanna's inspiration, I totally did just that.
"Mom," I said after church. She blinked at me through her coke bottle glasses. "You didn't save me a spot in church today."
"Well, you were late," she said.
"That's it," I declared with gusto. "You are dead to me."
She gave me a look and walked on.

 2. Henry's teacher in church approached me between classes.
"We're talking about talents in class today," she said.
"Oh really," I smiled thinking of how my money invested in Piano lessons is starting to pay off. Henry must've talked about his Piano skill.
"Yeah," she chuckled. "He said that his talent was making you go crazy."
That little devil boy.

3. Ruby was chewing on a toy during church. A toy that George had been fiddling with moments earlier. George tried to pull it away from her, but she resisted. Then he turned to me.
"Mom, if you don't take that toy away from Ruby she's going to destroy it."
I sighed. "No she's not."
"But she's chewing it like a carnivore."
I opened my mouth to shush George, but then decided his observation was decently accurate. I took the toy away from Ruby and gave her a goldfish to eat. Cracker, not living creature.

Sundays are the best. (Please read that in a Nacho Libre voice.)
Luv, erin