Baking 101: Cinnamon Rolls

First off, let me put forth the warning that I, in no way, am a professional baker, or even remotely good baker.  Yes, every now and then, I like to bake . . . something.  Is it total Awesomeness when I'm done?  Snort.  No.   But, sometimes, every now and then, I get it right.  It is those recipes I don't mind sharing. 

Oh, and one more side note, this recipe is NOT in anyway helpful to my diet. 

 

Recipe Name:  Um, Super Ooey Gooey Good Cinnamon Rolls.  No, too much.  Cinn-Ma-Tastic Rolls, No, Lame.  Fine, Just Plain Old Cinnamon Rolls

Ingredients: 

1 1/2 Cups Milk

1 Cube of Butter

1 Cup of Warm Water

2 T. Yeast

1/2 Cup granulated sugar

4 Eggs beaten

1 t. salt

1 T. Dough Enhancer (Optional)

5 T. Vital Wheat Gluten (Optional

8 1/2 Cups Flour

Directions:

Make the Dough. 

I'm not saying this is the right way, this is how I do it. 

1.  First, put the milk in the microwave for 3 minutes.  (Oh, and you better make sure you have a big enough glass bowl or else you'll be cleaning up the microwave too.)  When you pull out the milk, plop in a cold stick of butter.  This way, the cold butter brings the hot milk temperature down.  (This could be a totally ghetto way of doing it, but that's me to a T--Ghetto housewife).

2.  In your Kitchen Aid Mixer (you could use a Bosch or your hands, but I don't so I can't give you directions for that) put the Yeast and the Sugar and the Warm water.  Let it hang out until it gets bubbly cool looking.  (Don't know the tech. name...so bubbly cool it is)

3.  Dump your beaten eggs in with the bubbly cool yeasty stuff then slowly add the cooler (as in not hot now) milk. 

4.  Then slowly add the salt, dough enhancer, gluten and 3 cups of flour. 

5.  Ok, so here's what I like to do.  This could be all for nothing, but it makes the dough nice and pretty and sticky and stretchy, so I like it.  Mix in the first 3 cups of flour and that other dry stuff on low (1), then when it's all kind of mixed, turn your mixer up to (4) for about two minutes.  Then repeat that with two more cups of flour.  When you get to the last cup of flour, keep your mixer on low and slowly add the last cup.  When you're done, cover your dough with loose plastic wrap and let it rise for about thirty minutes.  It should poof out of the bowl and look like a crazy dough mushroom. 

Make the Roll  (This is the cooler part and I have pictures too!!!)

Pour some oil on your counter top and spread it out with your hands. 

Then punch down your dough and dump the dough out on the oily counter.

Then melt a cube of butter in the microwave, until it's like, all melted. 

Spread out the dough with your hands until it looks like a big ole' rectangle. 

Then pour the butter on it and wipe it all over with your hands. 

Slowly shake on a bunch of sugar and then cinnamon. 

When it's really coated, use your hand to crumble brown sugar all over the top. 

YUM!

Start on one side, and pinch the dough and roll it up into a big log of cinnamon roll dough.

Cut the dough into pieces with either a cool dough cutter thing (I don't know the name so that will have to do) or just use dental floss . . . that will pretty much make you look like Mcgyver in your own kitchen.  Awesome!

Put the dough on lightly greased pans.  I use all kinds of pans because it's fun to make your dough form into different shapes.  Like, for instance, the picture below is three rolls in a oval stone dish. 

So fun eh?

Let your kid help out, even though he's really just shoving his fingers in the dough and wiping sugar and butter on your cupboards.  He'll like it a lot and then you'll be able to take cute photos for your scrapbook that you'll never get around to scrapbooking. 

sigh. 

Cover your rolls with plastic wrap and let them rise for 30-45 minutes. 

Take the plastic wrap off before you bake it or else . . .

Bake the rolls at 375 for 15 minutes.

While they're baking, make the frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting

1 cube of cream cheese

1/2 cube butter

1/8 t. salt

1/2 t. vanilla

3 cups powdered sugar

1 T. milk

Pretty much just beat all that together until it's creamy and yummy.

 Then, pull the rolls out of the oven and they should look like this. 

 Or this.

Then frost them and they'll look like this.   

Happy baking or cooking, or whatever, you know what I mean.