Thursday, July 23, 2009

STALKING 101

So we dated, like everybody else. Oh, except for the fact that Mark was exceptionally cheap and never paid for a date. So we hung out. Here, there, everywhere. I loved it.

I thought he did too. But after we broke up, and my heart broken, I couldn't figure out what went wrong.
So I stalked him like any normal girl would do. Nothing serious, no running around clad in black with football glare paint on my cheeks, those wild days of mine were over. This time I stuck to the basics: Watching for when he left in the morning, watching for when he returned, 'running into him' at the oddest places...hm, hm, singles ward, and just a few car tailings.

And I thought it was working. We did, after all start dating (and kissing) again. But when he decided he didn't want to date anymore, I decided to pull out the BIG GUNS! (Yes all caps again. Come on. It illustrates my point.)

I reached for the 'casual' approach. The Teal Sweats. I flaunted my hot bod in the teal sweats my mom made for me years before. In them I was (besides warm) confident, yet relaxed, and I didn't care about his waxing and waning flirtations. Whatever. I'd had it.
And then it all came together. Bow on top. He finally proposed and I graciously accepted.

End of Story.

For dating tips and advice, please feel free to email me anytime. I would love to be your 'how to stalk a guy' coach.

10 SPLURTS:

Kristina P. said...

Yeah, I have done this. And it didn't work. It was creepy.

A. said...

You two are such an awesome team!

Nick and Emily said...

you know i've been meaning to tell you this. but since the last time we talked about you and being a stalker Nick is constantly nervous you are stalking us. he gets really creeped out and closes all the blinds and what not. which is a good thing cuz he always runs around in his undies. ha ha.

Melony said...

Stalking is really all about loving. I don't get why people don't understand that...hmm

Piglet de' Erin said...

Melony! ha ha...that is why I think you are amazing. yOu sooooo get it.

JoMamma said...

Dear Stocking 101 teacher, I am wondering if your class will cover things like when do you stop stalking someone? Should you let a restraining order stop you? I am very interested in finding out more.

Piglet de' Erin said...

Never say Die! Live for it Joann. But, if there is a restraining order, try to limit your activities to late night, so your black outfit will not be noticed as much.

Ipo said...

Erin, you're HILARIOUS!

big8smiley said...

Ahhhh . . . those were the days. Jeremy told him he needed to get married and stop breaking up. Who knows what was going on in Mark's head! Glad it finally worked out! Cute pictures. :)

Nailah Saida said...


Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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