Thursday, January 22, 2009

Confessions of a Shop-a-holic

"What exactly does 'card declined' mean?"
The bleach blonde, jeans too tight, trendy black gap sweater, girl at the GAP store stared down on me like a tigress ready to pounce on my fresh meat. "Your card has been declined."
"AGGHHHHHHH..." (umm, can someone insert crazy Psycho theme music here as the hidden candid camera snaps a close up of the horror on my face?)

Seriously Ladies...and guy (because maybe, if I'm lucky, I have one guy reader), I was MORTIFIED. In my stupor, I actually asked the register chick to swipe my card again. For pete's sake, it was my debit card, and I knew...I mean, I thought, I had enough money in the account to afford the purchase.

Swiped the second time, BLAM, NO ACCEPTANCE! I was ousted like a mutt in a dog show. The fakey blonde register chick was all over my business asking what I wanted her to do.
"Do you want me to put these items back for you?"
Are you kidding me? 2 problems with your question register chick.
1. Are you suggesting that I run around the store putting things back in their place?
2. Those are my great finds...if you put them back then someone else will snake them!
Well of course I wanted her to not be so snooty rude, and make my debit card work, but since that was a long gone thought, I simply put the error back on her.

"I know it isn't my card, there must be something wrong with your machine." (Word to the wise, replacing the blame makes you look STOOOOOPID! As I just portrayed to the register chick)

So, standing there, in what I thought would be my bargain of the week, shopping glory, I just stood almost speechless...(I say almost because I did leak out those embarrassing comebacks).

After calling around and getting down to the nitty gritty of the problem, it turns out some WHACK-JOB hacked into VISA security systems and made off with thousands credit/debit card numbers and personal information. My wonderfully non-communicating credit union decided to 'help' me out and put a freeze on my debit card. Thank you very much credit union, next time maybe you could send a letter or call me before I head to the mall.

Moral of the Story: Steer clear of the bleach blonde crack pot that wears her jeans too tight at the GAP.

12 SPLURTS:

Nick and Emily said...

i can't believe that happened to you. that's hilarious. i totally hate when that happens

yoga mama said...

you crack me up! something similar happened to us at costco shopping for our ward xmas party..CART was full...card declined...hubby left checkbook and other cards at home.. I couldn't help him...I didn't have anything on me...WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO? we had to apologize for all that trouble ...before leaving we pushed our cart to the side so...they can return everything... as we (the whole family) were leaving we forget to get our 6 yr old out of the cart. HELLURH! double the embarrassment.

tammy said...

Sooo.......let me get this straight--you actually LEFT WITHOUT your bargains?!??!

Piglet de' Erin said...

oh...of course not! hahahaha...I had the register chic hold them for me until I could convince mark to go back and get them with his card that still works...then I too decided I would go with him so I could see if I found any more bargains.

kellieanne said...

Sounds like you Erin.

Weight Family said...

So, did you get your killer deals? Stinks that you had to feel dumb, I hate it when I make myself look dumb.

Jordan & Jandee said...

This is too funny and my worst nightmare, I've only had my credit/debit card no work a couple of time (once the strip had simply worn out), but each time my over-excited imagination got me paranoid that someone really had stolen my identity and liquified my life savings.....I'm glad that wasn't the case with you and that you kept a cooler head than I probably would have!

Kahilau said...

NOT FUN! Oh my gosh, that is the worst feeling EVER. Thanks for the laugh!!

Leslie said...

That's why you need to move to sagebrushville with me where there are no places to shop. No shopping = no embarrassment. Sure, it also equals no cute clothes to wear and the same bleak Walmart offerings week after week, but still - no embarrassment.

Tiffany Chamblee Funn said...

Oh I about pee'd my pants! Sorry to laugh but heaven knows I've been there!

So said...

Are you going to see that movie? It looks freaking hilarious.

Sorry that happened to you. I would just turn red, take my card and turn with my tail between my legs.

eva fhadilah said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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