YESTERDAY

Yesterday...I completely abandoned my dedication to Monday's Get Fit Tip.

Yesterday...I woke up feeling like a giant stinkin' slug.

Yesterday...Mark walked out of the room when I was talking to him (apparently he thought I was finished talking), and I felt upset. No, I felt irritated, like the kind of irritation you feel when your efforts spent on solving the mysteries of the rubix cube prove to be futile. I don't know why his sudden departure spurred a nagging irritation from deep within my giant slug embodied self, who at the time was still parking it on the bed, with no intention of getting up and ready for the day. But, I felt the need to complain. Today of all days was his birthday and in our current No Job situation, I felt as if I could do nothing...so I did nothing, and I felt horrible. There you have it. I laid in, late into the morning, stinkin' like a giant slug of an anxious naggy girl, shooting turdy comments out for the sake of feeling better...and of course I didn't, I felt WORSE!

Eventually I pulled myself out of bed, shuffled over to the fridge and pulled it open only to be disappointed with the lack of contents therein. My fridge looked to have been carelessly raided by a thief who only left the tattered remains of half filled condiment bottles. I haven't been to the grocery store in a few weeks. Mark is still out of work and I have been doing my best to keep my always hungry mob of boys fed on the contents of our cupboards. Thanks to a few mysterious angels, the last couple months have given us the necessities we need to live on and sometimes an occasional more. At first I found others generosity to feel embarrassing or even shameful, but I quickly shed those prideful walls and fully accepted the love and kindness so many have shown. Unfortunately today gratitude seemed to have escaped me and pity, pride, and 'Pissed-off' seemed to be the only qualities I possessed.

Mark knew well to steer clear of my down and out grumpiness and he fled to the office to work on 'straightening up'. He never even mentioned that it was his birthday, not that he would have to, because I knew. But just knowing I didn't have enough extra money to go out and buy a cake mix spread bad thoughts in me like a bad seed taking root. But seeing Mark, doing his best to lighten my mood on his day started a little feeling of good in me. It was at about this point I had that inner dialog with myself. You know the one, with the good angel on one shoulder and the lazy, crazy, slug angel on the other. The slug angel gave quite a fight, but eventually the good won the battle and I decided to make an effort to snap out of my furious fog. I texted a friend to go running, changed my clothes, and brushed my teeth. 30 minutes later she was ready to meet, and called to let me know.

I walked into the office to let Mark know I was leaving and he waved me off! He was on the phone and made it clear he couldn't speak to me! Of all the annoying things to do. I finally get in the mood to be in a better mood and he wont get off the phone to watch the wild baby so I can jog off my frustration. You can believe this spun me into another downward annoyance.

10 minutes later (can you believe he made me wait 10 minutes) he walked out, looked up at my fuming self and smiled. And, quick before I could launch into a full blown 'I've had it', he announced that was the company he had spent the last month interviewing, and second interviewing, and 3rd interviewing at. In his quiet manner and tender voice, he broke down my frustration, annoyance and anger. He announced, "Erin, I got the job."

I stood speechless (for the first time that morning...well probably for the first time in a long time) and then broke down in tears. Tears streamed down my cheeks and flooded my eyes as he embraced me and echoed again, "Erin, I got the job." I very quietly whispered, "I am so sorry for being so upset. I love you. Can I tell you Happy Birthday now?" He smiled...and as simple as that, I knew that he had forgiven me.

I am so grateful for all who have offered a kind word and a helping hand through this difficult time. Thanks to friends, family and neighbors we have been able to keep our home, feed our kids and stay (mostly) sane. I cannot express the joy I feel to know that our prayers have been heard, answered and a way provided. Love, erin

Yesterday...was a great day!