Mother of the Year Award Goes To...

I recently enrolled George and Henry into swimming lessons on the north shore because their swimming skills were seriously lacking considering we live on the beach and the vast ocean is 25 feet from my back door. Consequently, Henry is enrolled into the same swim class as a somewhat famous local singer's son (Jack Johnson) so I often have the chance to talk with him or his wife while our sons learn to swim. Since we are at the pool for about an hour each time, it is nice to sit and small talk with the other parents. And since Mark has been working from home in the afternoons, I have been relieved to leave Theodore at home to take a nap while I whisk the boys off to swimming lessons.

Unfortunately on Thursday, Theodore was a bear (hahaha...Teddy bear) and he wouldn't take his afternoon nap. At the last minute, Mark put him out in the van for me while I loaded up the boys for swim lessons. We were running a few minutes late so when we got to swim lessons I told the boys to hurry in. Henry jumped out of the van and tried to slam the van door closed. His attempt was unsuccessful and the door bounded back. He tried three more times, each attempt being as unsuccessful as the first. Frustrated, I snapped at him to just run into swim lessons and I would shut the van door. I walked over and slammed it closed, mumbling about the piece of c#%* van that I drove, and I quickly followed the boys into swim lessons.

I walked into the pool area and checked to see if Henry and George were settled in. I picked up their scattered slippers and towels and scanned for a seat. Frustrated and overwhelmed with the list of things I had to do that night I huffed as I plopped down next to my friend Donnette. Donnette gazed up and smiled warmly. Feeling a little release of tense stress, I half-smiled back and asked as cheerfully as I could, "Hey Donnete. How are you today?" She mentioned that she was busy as normal and then asked, "Where is your baby today?"
A fog muddled my brain as I stumbled on saying that he was at home with Mark again...and then the fog cleared and my worst mommy reality shot straight to the forefront of my mind. "AAAAGGGhhhhhh!!!" I screamed, "I left Theodore in the van!!!" As bewildered thoughts of how I could leave my baby coursed their way through my mind, I raced out of swim lessons and to my car. On my frantic dash to reach Theodore, I noticed that another van was parked unreasonably close to mine and that parent was on the side by my van unloading his kids. His all too familiar face glanced up at me as I came bounding wildly towards the vans. "Hey how's it going?" Jack asked. In a high pitch, almost hysterical voice I replied, "Not so good, Can you please mooooove cause I left my BABY in the van and I have to get him NOW." He laughed as I felt utterly mortified at the embarassment of having left my baby in the van and then it being made known to another parent, namely Jack Johnson. He leaned over and squished himself into his van as I plucked my sweaty Theodore out of his car seat.
At least to make me feel a little bit better Jack mentioned that it happens to everyone and he had done the same thing just a few days before.

Mom

When I was 16 I swore that I would never be like my mother. What "good" mother would require her daugther to be home at 11:30 on a Friday night or make her daughter cover her bare shoulders? What "good" mother would make her daughter do chores before leaving the house or pay for her own outings with friends? In my eyes, my mother was absolutely ridiculous with her harsh rules and expectations...

On this mothers day I want to give my mom a piece of my mind...to say THANK YOU. Thank you for teaching me the basics of cooking so I can now prepare healthy well balanced meals for my own family. Thank you for teaching me the value of house work so I now I know how to keep my own home in ship shape condition. Thank you for reminding me to date appropriately and dress modestly so I was prepared to marry a righteous man. Thank you for making me pay for clothing, college and life, so I now know how to balance my own budget and provide for the necessities that my family needs. I love you mom, and I think you for giving me "Peace" of mind to know I can be successful being a mother to my own family.

In addition, here are 10 great tips my mother taught me:

1. If you don't brush your teeth, your breath will smell like chicken poop. (Generally this will most likely occur right in the middle of sacrement meeting, and you will need to be reminded loudly by your mother)

2. If you feed your dog turkey during Thanksgiving dinner, you dog will get the most horrid, unbearable turkey farts!

3. If you want something really bad, just spit in one hand and want in the other and then you just have to see what you will get more of.

4. For life's everyday illnesses, the magic pills are....m&ms!

5. For every other illness you can just find the cure and 100 other articles on WebMD.

6. Bright pink and bright orange do not match unless you are filipino.

7. What could be better than Harry Potter...oh yeah, Harry Potter on tape.

8. Sometimes Po-doggies are treated better than the humans in the calabio house.

9. If you ever leave the door open you are clearly born in a barn.

10. If you ever leave the door open, the worshipped po-doggie will escape and can only be lured back in by her loving master...MOM!

I love you mom!