and the White Trash Mother award goes to...

Me. Me. Oh, pick Me!!! I suppose I could more accurately call myself a 'brown' trash mother, but either phrase at this point will suffice.



1. I was busy (on the Internet) so I let Teddy park himself in front of the boob tube, in a convenient toddler size lounge chair and watch t.v for...(ha, I got you there, like I'm really going to admit I let him watch t.v. for 4 hours today)

2. When my little couch potato got restless, I remedied the problem by popping the kid some popcorn. (I want to teach him while he's young that boredom can be squelched with snack food. Learning the valuable lazy lard-butt skills while he's young will save him the hassle of working hard and being a productive adult later in life.)

3. Then when he couldn't take it any longer, I let him run around snot-nosed, begging for candy. Because, really, why not start now the life of a vagrant?

4. And just to make sure I secured my spot as biggest white (or brown) trash mother out there, I let the snot-nosed, sugar-hyped, toddler of mine trike the neighborhood in his UNDIES! (I'm preparing him for his motorcycle riding, wife-beater shirt wearing future.)